Good read: Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

Book Review: Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

         Not another book about "how to be happy" that leaves you with more questions than you had from the start. Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert's Stumbling on Happiness is a witty and insightful look at the flaws of human foresight and WHY happiness is so difficult to achieve. Mis-judgements of our memory and foresight cause us to stumble on our journey to seek out happiness. We remember life events by the bulk, key points, leaving out the small details that are essential to the recreation of the real experience in our brains. When we imagine future scenarios, we once again skip over the details and other aspects of life, judging how we will feel solely by the situation we are imagining. Though very complex, our brains can not regenerate or forecast experiences in their whole form.
        Thinking about future events can make us excited, and often, we overestimate the happiness we will feel, leaving us disappointed and stumbling. This may sound like a morbid thought, that humans set themselves up for disappointment, but if we become aware of this overestimation in the brain, we can adjust accordingly and experience the happiness that future events do provide, rather than experience real events IN CONTRAST to how we imagined them.
Conversely, we overestimate how UNhappy we will feel if some undesirable situation were to come about, like becoming physically disabled. When such dreaded scenarios do come about, we end up feeling happier than we would have imagined ourselves. Take, for example, an individual who becomes bed ridden due to an illness. It is not uncommon to hear these people report feeling more grateful than ever before, feeling more hope and happiness with family support and care. Meanwhile, when we imagine becoming bed ridden, we solely think about our lives being reduced to imprisonment in a bed. We don't focus on the positive aspects because it is generally an undesirable life circumstance.
         Though most of the book discusses the human condition and its misestimations, Gilbert does provide some advice on getting around our foresight flaws. Gilbert claims the best way we can accurately imagine future situations is to talk with someone who is having that experience right now. This first-hand report from someone currently immersed in a situation is a much better indicator for our future feelings than our own deceiving imaginations.

Woman Crush Wednesday: Blogger edition

        There are quite a few bloggers who, though I only follow their public internet lives, have largely impacted my life in ways that I can only hope to someday do for others. I'd like to share my top favorite female bloggers, in the spirit of #womancrushwednesday. These women are huge inspirations to me and many others.

Cassey Ho: Blogilates

Pilates instructor, founder of POP Pilates, lifestyle blogger, YouTuber, designer, Professional Dog-Stalker.

        Where do I even start with this incredible woman? I started following her in the beginning of 2013, my second semester of my freshman year of college. At that time, things were really rough. I was attending a school I was unhappy being at, I was homesick, my life felt like a mess.
        I really had no idea what Pilates was, but Cassey's bright, bubbly personality drew me in to find out. Today, I've been doing Pop-Pilates with Cassey for almost two years, and it has truly become a big part of my lifestyle. Not once have I become bored of it. There is so much variation in Cassey's workouts, and her fun personality keeps it all the more varied. She's always coming up with fun new workouts, song challenges, and combination moves of her own, maintaining a constant challenge.
        Aside from Pilates, Cassey is just too adorable in every way. She's excited about life, excited about the little things (like the color of her nails), and extremely knowledgeable about taking good care of one's own body and living a maintainable healthy lifestyle. Before discovering Blogilates, I was extremely restrictive with my eating habits, and I was obsessed with just doing cardio. I'm being literal when I say Cassey saved my life.
        With nearly two million subscribers/followers, Cassey works extremely hard to keep up with new videos, as well as new workout calendars for every single month, and tons of other inspiring blog posts/life updates. Serious props to her, it's not easy. She invests so much time and care into what she shares with her followers, because she is truly passionate about the health of herself and others. She's created an amazing community of happy, inspirational people. I admire this woman. If it weren't for her, I am 99% sure Pilates would not be among my interests, let alone a regular part of my life. Through my journey of recovery, Pop-Pilates has kept me feeling good about my body and its capabilities, continuously getting stronger. I can not thank Cassey enough for all she does. It's crazy because following her for so long, I have like a pseudo-best-friendship with her. I feel like she is one of my lifelong best friends as if I know her in real life. One of my biggest dreams is that one day I can meet this outstanding woman and just have a good long talk with her about life.
        Check out her main blog, Blogilates.com, and find all of her workouts, recipe videos, and vlogs on Youtube.

Julia Grigorian:
        This girl kicks some SERIOUS butt! I met her on tumblr a little over a year ago, and at the time, she was slowly emerging out of the tight grips of Anorexia. I followed her on her tough journey to recovery, and all I can say is this woman truly AMAZES me with her strength, persistence, and spirituality. No matter how many times or how hard she fell, she always got back up. She always kept in mind that recovery was what she really wanted and that it would be worth it in the end. She's made an astounding comeback at life before starting college, and it was incredible to see her stick it out through recovery to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That light just gets brighter and brighter, and Julia wants to spread that message to everyone and anyone struggling with an eating disorder. It's not an easy battle by any means, and anyone who can make the choice to recover is strong beyond average. Watching this girl's journey was actually mind blowing.
        Julia is a beautiful writer, and I have no doubts regarding her aspiration to get her own book published. Her way with words in expressing the positivity in her life after recovery has touched many lives, including mine. Her words and experiences deserve to be spread far and wide. She is living, breathing proof that recovery is worth it. Julia, you are such an inspiration to many, beautiful inside and out, and I know you will continue to grow and do wonderful things. You can find her main blog at Lord-still-loves-me.com, and follow her on various other social media sites !


Alyssia Sheikh: MindOverMunch

        Alyssia is a lifestyle blogger as well as a graphic designer, focusing her blog on fitness, health, and balance. Her sense of humor is just like mine and her positive vibes totally rub off. Just listening to her talk picks up my mood because she's got a huge personality. Her recipes are award winning (literally, MindOverMunch won the taste award), her videos are so well put together, and her design work is fantastic! She is beautiful, inside and out, left and right, and has one of the prettiest & most contagious smiles in the world. I've tried so many of her recipes and they are phenomenal. As a fan, it means a lot that she cares so much about the content she shares and the effort she puts into her posts, photography, designed work, and the overall blogging process. I absolutely love her creativity and her design work is of great inspiration to my artistic side. She designs her own ebooks which I have purchased, and the bright, colorful style of her design work really captures her fun personality. You can check out her artwork at AlyssiaSheikh.com which holds various different works such as graphic designs, mixed media pieces, handcrafted books, and other goodies of the like. She is so artistically gifted and it's so neat to see her bring her love of art/design and health together in the MindOverMunch series. She is one of my top bloggers of all time and I would love the chance to meet her some day. Check out the series at MindOverMunch.com, or on YouTube

Mindful Mondays: 5 simple ways to be mindful

        Mindfulness involves an "in-the-moment" awareness, honing in on even the most minuscule details, in our environment, bodily sensations, sensory experiences, and inner thoughts while tuning out any distractions. It can be extremely difficult, especially if you're like me and have a hard time relaxing in general. I've managed to learn some simple ways to achieve mindfulness in everyday tasks.

1. Start with a morning "sit":

        What do you normally do when you get out of bed? Do you go straight to the computer, turn on the TV? Jump out of bed as you realize you're late for something super important and you have absolutely no time to even stop for a second?
I'm not assuming anything, but if any of those are you, I'm going to assume you're not much of a morning person. The good news is, mindfulness can help you to BECOME a "morning person".

I always like to have some time for myself in the morning before I get my day started. Most mornings, the first thing I do is head downstairs, pour myself a cup of coffee, and just sit at my kitchen table. I resist the urge to check instagram/facebook/turn on the TV/read the newspaper/whatever. Tune into the present moment, feel your body waking up, focus on your breathing, stare at the light reflections in your coffee mug. It really sets the tone and helps to ease into a good day.

2. Mindful Meals:

        Let's be honest, many people like to watch TV, scroll through social media, or read something as they eat a meal. I'm very guilty of it myself. When I'm eating by myself, it's hard to put my phone or laptop down. I really have to make the conscious effort to resist, but I know it is worth it. 

When you eat a meal, dedicate that time simply to the act of eating. Eat slowly, appreciate and savor each bite of food. Take notice to the different flavors and textures. Paying attention will make your meal so much more satisfying and fulfilling. Food is awesome, don't take it for granted.

3. Be continually curious:

        Curiosity is extremely necessary for mindful experiences. Try to experience the world as though you are experiencing things for the first time. Be open to new sensory experiences. Think of the intense captivation that small children feel, constantly learning. This mindfulness can make mundane experiences continually new and exciting. When you listen to your favorite music that you've heard so many times, pay close attention to the different sound waves and rhythms that come together all at once to create the harmonious music that is detected by your ears. When you take a shower, slow down and experience how the warm water feels on your skin, how the soap smells. When you simply slow down this way you can cultivate gratitude for all the wonderful things that are too often overlooked in life.
"Mindful awareness casts a wider, more accepting stance toward the present moment than is typical. Watch what feelings emerge as you experiment with openness." -Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D.

4. Stretch Everyday:

        Stretching is such an easy, quick, yet extremely effective way to get in tune with your body. Every morning, stretch out your muscles and focus on really feeling your muscles stretching out and your blood flowing to them. 

5. Be Mindful while you are waiting:

        Waiting can be annoying, waiting in line, waiting in the doctor's office, waiting for a phone call, whatever. It is time consuming and it is often time WASTING. But, when you are simply waiting with nothing else to occupy your time, it is a great opportunity to practice mindfulness, and therefore will be a great use of your time! Focus on anything, no matter how simple. Ed Halliwell, mindfulness teacher and co-author of The Mindful Manifesto, suggests to focus on “the flow of the breath in and out of your body, from moment to moment and allow everything else to just be, even if what’s there is impatience or irritation.”

Happy Mindful Monday!

2015 Self Improvement project

So I've decided to start up a self improvement project for myself upon the start of 2015. Yeah I'm 12 days late, but better late than never.

I'm going to dedicate each day of the week to practicing a "happiness strategy" or theme that I learned in Positive Psychology. I encourage anyone to join me in this, as anyone can benefit from applying these strategies to everyday life, and finding out what fits best for your own wellbeing.

Mindful Mondays.
on Monday I will make sure to be mindful in all that I do, especially when it comes to mundane activities that I often feel are just "going through the motions". Be aware of the present moment and pay close attention to what is around you. Actually EXPERIENCE the task you are performing. You might be surprised at what you often overlook. Relish the ordinary and take pleasure in the senses.
Three Ways Mindfulness Reduces Depression
7 Ways to be Mindful Every Day

Take-Part Tuesdays.
Sound so cheesy, but I had to keep the alliteration going. Tuesdays will be dedicated to performing random acts of kindness for others. Even small acts of kindness can go a long way in benefitting others as well as yourself, whether they are for strangers/friends/family, planned or spontaneous.
5 Ways Giving is Good for You

Wednesday: Wishful thinking.
What do I want to accomplish in the next year? The next month? The next week? It's important to keep your most important goals in mind and make sure your daily actions and habits are in line with them. To keep on track, Wednesdays I will write down what I am working on for myself, and what seems to work/not work.

Thankful Thursdays: Again, cheesy. But Thursday's theme is gratitude. One of my favorite themes of Positive Psychology. True gratitude is extremely powerful, I feel grateful every day. But Thursdays I will make sure to fully recognize and jot down my blessings to constantly reassure and validate the gratitude I feel.

Friday: Flow.
On Fridays, I will perform an activity that is extremely engaging and flow-inducing. Flow, is described by psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, is "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost." (source).
For me, these flow activities include playing music, playing video games, writing, crafting, painting, collaging, etc.

Strength-Building Saturday.
All humans are endowed with a certain degree of each of the 24 character strengths identified by positive psychologists Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman. Much research has concluded that exercising one's top strengths leads to many benefits of wellbeing.
Engaging in activities that allow you to exercise your strengths are sure to make you feel good and increase your chances of experiencing flow. Consciously using these strengths will move you away from engaging in passive activities, such as watching TV (source).

Sunday: Savoring.
Sundays will be all about savoring life's joys. Whether it's savoring the past, present, or being optimistic about the future, savoring acts to extract the utmost joy out of life's pleasures, stretching happy experiences beyond their occurrences. Not only does it make experiences more rich, but it helps to cultivate gratitude for the beauty around you.

Each day I will write down and take note of how I performed each happiness activity and how it benefitted me. Writing my feelings out always works for me. I may post some, depending on the content/substance of each day's writings, but we'll see how it all works out. Please, feel free to share with me if you decide to participate.

Hello 2015

I disappeared for a few weeks, my apologies. I'm not a full-time blogger. I'm not even sure if anyone cares what I have to say in the first place, BUT, I'm making an update post, and you guessed it, it's all about the new year.

2014 was a huge year of self discovery for me. I learned a lot about who I am and what I want to accomplish in the future. I learned a lot about looking after myself properly, mentally and physically. As cliche as it sounds, it was a serious year of personal growth for me.

You guessed it again, I'm going to make some resolutions for 2015!

Read More Books.
 This is quite different for me. 2 years ago, if you'd asked me to read a book, I'd vomit right in front of you. I DESPISED reading for pretty much my entire life. Any time I was assigned books to read for school, I could not hold my interest to read them. I never read books for leisure. Once I entered college, and opened my eyes to actually INTERESTING literature and knowledge that is out there, I've taken on a serious love of reading. It's crazy. I can fly through books now. I feel like I'm talking in one of those commercials about children's reading programs lol. But anyway, I have quite a "to read" list and plan to tackle as many as possible this year, if not all of them. My list includes various works from Haruki Murakami as well as a book recommended by one of my professor titled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.

Go out to eat more often.
Surprise, surprise. Usually people make the resolution to eat out LESS often. But honestly, I really don't spend money on myself as much as I deserve to treat myself. But it's not just a matter of spending money on myself. I want to go out to enjoy myself more often, discover new places and try new things. I love trying new foods, and I often make the "I want to save money" excuse, and end up passing up fun opportunities. Buying a good dining experience is money well spent.

Slow Down. 
It's easy to lose sight of the positivity around us when we're so pre-occupied with school, work, personal problems, etc. But it's there, it's always there. You just have to go out of your way to look for it, sometimes more than other times. Slow down, find it, savor it, appreciate it. I think everyone should make this resolution.

Take More Breaks.
I'm very task oriented and always feel like I need to constantly be on the move and being productive. It's often hard for me to relax, but taking breaks is important and healthy, mentally and physically.

Get outside more often.
I think a lot of people can do this too. There is a laundry list of benefits that come from spending more time outside, and it's not even a daunting task either.

Less Screen Time. 
Seriously. Speaks for itself. Take a look at this.

Stretch Daily.
It's important, it feels good, it's good for the body. A good habit to get into.

The start of the new year isn't the only time to make resolutions for yourself, but there's certainly more spirit in it. Hope you all have a marvelous 2015! xx

Favorite Sites for Holiday Gift Shopping

It is officially the Holiday season, and if you're anything like me, it really snuck up on you and you're scrambling to find gifts for all your loved ones.

I like to make gifts unique to my relationships with people. It feels more special that way as opposed to just getting something they ask me for or tell me that they want. Then it's expected and boring.

Below are my all time favorite go-to websites for online gift shopping. All of these sites have provided great service for me in the past and have helped me find gifts for the most difficult friends, or the friends who have everything already. I hope they'll be helpful to anyone who checks them out as well!

1. Uncommongoods.com

        Uncommon goods is awesome for finding gifts, especially because the categories are catered towards interest and occasions. This site has an enormous collection of home wares that you had no idea existed. From their unique gadgets, DIY kits, artwork, you can find gifts for just about any type of person. 

See: Soup and Sandwich Ceramic Tray Duo

2. ThinkGeek.com

        I always consult ThinkGeek when it comes to buying gifts for fandom fans. This site has tons of clever products based on popular TV shows, video games, and movies like Breaking Bad, Doctor Who, Minecraft, Hunger Games, etc. Clothing, gadgets, kitchen appliances, mugs, collectibles, office/dorm supplies, you name it. 

See: Doctor Who TARDIS Tea Infuser

3. ChronicleBooks.com

       If you're searching for some unique books for someone who likes reading or just for anyone, ChronicleBooks has a huge selection of unique books for all ages and all interests. There's even a gift finder to personalize and find the perfect gift!

See: "I could Chew on This", and other poems by dogs

4. Etsy.com

       Etsy features handmade goods by over 100,000 members. You will find plenty of crafty items like jewelry, clothing, ceramics, stuffed animals, and so on, all made with care. Etsy also features a gift finder for easier search. 

See: Amigurumi Chibi Finn Adventure Time Plush

5. Leifshop.com

        Perfect for your stylish and artsy friend, with beautiful jewelry, ceramics, tabletop accessories and fashion accessories. This one's a bit on the pricy side, but you get what you pay for.

See: Asymmetry Drusy Ring

6. Perpetualkid.com

        Perfect for silly gifts and toys for the little kid inside everyone. Pizza scented candle? Inflatable unicorn head? You got it. Big selection of retro toys as well, and "shop by interest" feature!

See: 3D Sidewalk Chalk

7. ShitIMustHave.com
        Though this website provides products from all different sources, I had to provide it. It really is full of shit you MUST have. Clever gadgets you've never even thought of, housewares, toys, and random fun stuff.
See: Pizza Cone Maker

Writing Prompt Wednesday: Land of Confusion

Land of Confusion

"Tell us about a time when you felt out of place."

I can tell you, not about "a" time, but "THE" time, I was seriously out of place. My freshman year of college. 

My whole life, I had always been a home body. I loved home, I was comfortable at home, I was never itching to get away, even in my teen years. No matter what awkward phases I went through growing up, at the end of the day I was always very true to myself and felt safety and comfort in my home life. I always had the intentions of going to school relatively local, no further than New York City. However, I did apply to one school further upstate, mostly just to appease my mom and a teacher of mine that attended it. I had no real intentions of going there, but I applied "for the heck of it". 

I ended up getting accepted to this school, and their speedy response increased my interest in going, and my mom really urged me to consider attending. Of course, she did not want to get rid of me or force me to go. She just really thought I would enjoy getting away. After a lot of consideration, I actually chose to attend this school. I turned down my initial top school because, hey, maybe getting away was what I needed. After all, I had never been away from home other than week long vacations. 

From the moment I decided to go, there was a feeling of uncertainty and uneasiness. I repressed it, convinced myself I needed the experience of living away from home. As nervous and upset I got over the thought of leaving, I played it off like I was so excited to go away and as if I felt great about my decision. I didn't.

My first semester away in the Fall of 2012, I did manage to make myself feel at home, but the uneasiness was still there. Every time I went home, it upset me so much to see what I was missing out on, what I had left behind. I wouldn't admit to myself that I was homesick, I was in denial. The idea of transferring and "hassling my family" was not the route I wanted to go, so I repressed. I kept telling myself I just still needed to get used to being away. Wrong again. Each weekend I went home and returned to school, the sadness got worse and worse. Especially when I returned to school after being home for a month long Christmas break. By February, for sure, I was depressed. Big time. 

Eventually, I finally admitted it to myself. I don't belong here. I felt like a different person there, and I didn't like that person. Especially with the amount of homesickness and depression I was dealing with, I cut myself off from people, took my anger out on myself and others. That is not who I am. I knew it all along, but once I finally admitted to myself that I was not where I belong, it was ten times clearer. I called my mom, I was nervous at what she would say about the hassle of transferring back home, but she understood. I am so glad I didn't continue to repress the homesickness and sadness.

At that school, I truly was out of place. Once I finally accepted the fact that I wasn't happy, I started to see the monster that the depression made of me. I could not function like myself, I could not smile, I did not want to be social with those around me,  I had a short(er) temper and a nasty attitude, I did not want to go out, I did not want to sporadically dance like a crazy person (!!) That isn't me. That isn't the crazy, energetic, fun loving ME. I felt like a stranger to myself, and that's just how out of place I felt. Despite the struggle, I don't think I would have realized just how wonderful my home is had I not gone away first. Sometimes you've gotta lose it to know what it's worth, and sometimes you've gotta lose yourself to find yourself.

Home is where my heart is <3