A Summer of Self Discovery

Hello all, if any. It has been quite some time since I have updated this blog, and I have decided to expand the horizons a bit, and I am going to use it to host miscellaneous ramblings of my life, whatever they may be. This is a place for my personal thoughts and ideas.

Onto the topic of this post, I want to talk about this Summer and why it was one of the best. From the day I chose to recover, it was an even bumpier ride than when I was completely succumbed to my E.D. Constant conflicting thoughts, constant confusion, etc. Recovery is hard, I still have a ways to go physically, but that's a different story for a different day. I want to talk about my mentality and how it has transformed over the process of my recovery.
Depression, whether it be due to a disorder, a loss, etc, is hard to bounce back from. It is difficult to combat your demons and reconnect with your true self after you have fallen so low. Though I am still physically unhealthy, right now I am in the best place mentally that I have been since before the onset of my E.D. I feel so in touch with reality again, so much more at peace with myself. Balance is the key to happiness, and I put up a real fight to finally prove it to myself. During recovery, I'd constantly feel stuck, ask myself: "how the hell am I going to change this distorted thinking around? I can't possibly undo the damage, can't possibly return to normalcy." Well now, I look back, and though I still have crazy, stupid thoughts, my mind is a HELL of a lot better than what it was a year ago, a half a year ago, even just a few months ago. It really just takes persistence. No matter how impossible or hopeless it seems, you just have to KEEP. GOING. It will happen. It takes time. If you managed to turn yourself crazy, you can turn yourself back to normal.