5 Lessons you have to learn the hard way

1. You can't force friendships.
I had to hear this about a million times and learn it a million more times before I finally got it through my head. Many times, it's really not something we want to accept. Friendships don't always last forever. Whether friends move on and leave you hanging, or they just never cared as much as you thought they did, we have to let go when we realize we're the only contributor in the relationship. Friendship is a two-way thing. Real friends will always open their arms to you. If you find yourself running after people who aren't running to you, it's not worth the effort. It sucks, I've had some people in my life that were incredible friends to me, but things change, and people change. Don't let it be at your expense.

2. Regret feels worse than fear
Fear is powerful, it can have complete control over our choices. Fear of failure, specifically, often stops us from taking chances. But the regret of not trying and missing that chance resonates with us far longer, perhaps even for life. It's better to live life saying "oh well" than "what if". Ask yourself "what am I so afraid of?", and many times you'll find you are fearing irrationally. Face your fears, take chances.

3. People will always judge you
It's impossible to make everyone happy, so stop trying. People will judge you, people will challenge your opinions, people will step all over something you are passionate about. No matter how you choose to live your life, people will always judge. However, you are your biggest critic. If you're vulnerable to those external opinions, you will criticize yourself. Having the courage to keep moving forward in the face of criticism and vulnerability is a real challenge. It's not other people's opinions that are holding you back, its your own fears of what other people will think. Focus on your own goals ahead. Consider other people's criticism, but don't let it keep you from moving in the direction you're headed. When it comes to responding to critics, kill them with kindness. And ultimately, always choose what you feel is best for you and your goals.

4. You don't know what you have until its gone
There's a reason this saying is so trite, but its something we should remind ourselves every day, really. Too often we are so used to what we have or what comes easy to us. Then when we lose it, we wish we'd appreciated it more while we had it. This just goes to show why being grateful is so important. Being grateful involves recognizing all that you are blessed with, and extracting positivity from it. You don't have to be extremely fortunate to be grateful, there is always something to appreciate and be glad to have. Don't wait until it may be too late.

5. Any situation, good or bad, will change

In addition to changing circumstances, human beings adapt to situations psychologically. The pain of losing a loved one dwindles, things get better in time, disappointment won't last forever. Unfortunately, on the other hand, that means that positive events and emotions will change too. The euphoric elatedness you felt in the moment at your 5th birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheez didn't last forever. Circumstantially, good things come to an end, and perceivably, positive emotions from an event dwindle with time as well. This isn't bad news. You need to consciously, and constantly, focus on the budding positivity around you. In the face of negativity, remember that things change over time, and stay hopeful. Keep looking for the positivity around you that you can cultivate with the right attitude and awareness.

6. Life isn't fair
We all know this, and we all know it because of experience. No matter how "gifted" someone may be or feel, there are always unfavorable situations in life. It's important to keep in mind that you can't always control your life circumstances, but you can control your attitude. Life goes on, things change, new opportunities come about. Positivity doesn't come on a silver platter, but you can make the effort to find it.