Happy Sunday and Happy February! In the spirit of a new month, I'm sharing some important bits of advice to keep in mind for personal development and overall wellbeing. I wanted to make this list because, recently, I've learned a lot about the conscious efforts that are necessary for flourishing, and I think anyone in any place can make use of these simple reminders. It's easy to forget, or not even be aware of these simple, yet important methods.
Stop trying to please everyone.
You are never going to be able to appeal to every single person. Whatever you decide to do, however you express yourself, there will those who are hateful, envious, or just don't agree. You will exhaust yourself trying to make every single person happy, so just focus on being authentic to you.
Which leads to lesson #2...
Don't let the fear of other people's opinions chain you down.
I can't stress this enough. Get out there and do whatever you want to do, and turn a blind eye to the people who just want to put you down. Don't let yourself be shackled by fear of opposition. It is so freeing when you can let go of your fears and let your true colors come through. How can you possibly feel happy and fulfilled if you are hiding from the world? You've got your entirely unique existence to express to the world and this life is your one shot. Don't spend it hiding away. What do YOU bring to the table? Embrace it, and bring it. There will always be people out there who appreciate and benefit from your self expression. And ultimately, you will benefit from being free and thriving. Those who don't agree, so be it. That's life. In most cases, those who will go out of their way to criticize another person are just insecure about themselves.
Remove toxic people from your life.
The people you engage with either lift you up or drag you down. Surround yourself with the people who make you a better version of yourself.
“Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don’t hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people.” - Zig Ziglar
Don't live in anticipation.
Too often, people live in the future. They claim "I will be happy when ____". People constantly wait for that "special moment" that will supposedly be the turning point of their lives. The truth is that life is now, opportunity is now. Live in the present and seize every single moment while you have it. What you might anticipate in the future. Most of your anxieties and worries are sourced from living too much in the future (or the past). Focus on the present moment.
Don't compare your life to others'.
You can never put yourself completely in another person's shoes and perceive exactly what someone is going through. We have a habit of comparing our worst to other people's best. Nobody lives a perfect life, nobody really lives your opinion of a perfect life, and everybody has different qualities and conditions to celebrate. Key: focus inward, work on improving yourself and being better somehow each day. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday, a year ago. When you can appreciate and value what's on the inside, you can let go of extrinsic comparison.
Take Breaks.
So important. In anything you are working towards, it's so important to step back every so often and let your body and soul rejuvenate. Recharge yourself so you can get back in full force. It is a crucial part of the progress. Author and educator Stephen Covey refers to taking a break as "sharpening the saw" in his book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I'll let him do the talking:
"Living a life in balance means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. It's all up to you. You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out by overdoing everything. You can pamper yourself mentally and spiritually. Or you can go through life oblivious to your well-being. You can experience vibrant energy. Or you can procrastinate and miss out on the benefits of good health and exercise. You can revitalize yourself and face a new day in peace and harmony. Or you can wake up in the morning full of apathy because your get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone. Just remember that every day provides a new opportunity for renewal--a new opportunity to recharge yourself instead of hitting the wall. All it takes is the desire, knowledge, and skill."
You said it, Covey.
Embrace that you are a constant work in progress.
You are constantly growing. Through aging, through experience, through hard times and through milestones. Until your final days, you are constantly a student of life, consistently making mistakes in order to grow. Don't beat yourself up claiming you can't be satisfied until you reach the ideal, or "perfection". As James Victore says "Feck Perfuction". Enjoy the journey every step of the way. Stop and look at where you are often and appreciate where you're at. If you can't enjoy the process, is it even worth it? No matter what goals you achieve, no matter how old you get, there is no stopping. Stay curious, and keep your mind open. There are always open doors to learn and explore and improve yourself as long as you're alive.
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