1. Shift your focus to the positive aspects of life: Much of your attitude towards life is not so much your circumstances, but what you choose to pay attention to. The positivity is there, you just may not be paying attention to it. Negative aspects of life seem to stand out much more because they drag you down, they close you off. You can choose to pay closer attention to all the positivity that happens. Yes, becoming happier takes conscious effort. You can start by actually keeping a journal and making note of any time something produces a positive emotion. Even if it's just a simple sight that you think is beautiful, or a stranger smiling at you. When you get into the habit of physically writing down happy moments, it makes just noticing them become more habitual, and it's therefore more natural to be effected by positivity.
2. express gratitude: "gratitude" sounds like such a simple concept to many. However, feeling grateful is much more than just being thankful. Its a deep, intense feeling of strictly positive emotion and recollection. It’s one of the most important coping strategies and life habits that a person can exercise. I can confidently say that gratitude has been an absolute vital factor to my mental growth and positivity. Author Sonja Lyubomirski (professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of California) says that “gratitude is an antidote to negative emotions, a neutralizer of envy, avarice, hostility, worry, and irritation” in her book, The How of Happiness. This statement really stood out to me because I’d never looked at it that way, but I’ve seen how true it is. There are no negative emotions or experiences that come with gratitude.
3. Nurture relationships: Stop and look around you for a second. Chances are, there are lots of people who care about you, and that you care about. Live a life that emphasizes that. Act upon the loving feelings you have for others. If you truly care about someone, show them. Nurture your relationships with others because strong social relationships are ABSOLUTELY VITAL to being a happy person. I don't care if you are an introvert, enjoy time alone. You need a sense of community and connection with others. We as human beings are social animals and desire social interaction and deep connections. Strengthen your relationships with those you love as much as you can. Pay attention to those that mean a lot to you. Put your phone away when you spend time with them, support each other, trust each other, and have fun together!
4. recognize your irrational beliefs: It is also very important to locate the source of your unhappiness. Everyone at times, some more often than others, thinks irrationally. It's hard not to when you are in a stressful situation or in the heat of a negative event. It's important to slow down and recognize your irrational beliefs. According to psychologist Albert Ellis, the four main types of irrational beliefs are demands on yourself (I must, I shouldn't, etc), awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and self downing. You can read more into them here. If you actually make the effort to slow down, you can clearly identify your irrational beliefs and replace them with more realistic ones (ex: "I would have preferred ______, but it's not the end of the world that _____ happened instead").
5. savor life's pleasures: We all know that when a single happy event happens, we adapt, we aren't ecstatic forever. We return to our "baseline" if you will. One of the best ways your can sustain happiness that comes from a positive event is to savor it and extract the most you can from it. Savor the past by reliving happy days in your mind, looking through old photos, and reminiscing. Savor in the present by practicing mindfulness. Ritualize mundane activities, ones that you normally do mindlessly. Pay close attention to the nature around you when you're walking outside, focus on all the flavors and textures when you eat meals. Though trite, the saying "stop and smell the flowers" is a useful reminder. You can even savor the future by anticipating upcoming events, or even just by visualizing where you want to be in the future. It can be difficult, especially if you are fearing failure. But in many instances, it can be motivating and up lifting. Savoring with others can cultivate even more positivity, because once again, human beings crave connectedness with others, and happiness feeds off of that.
6. Act kindly: Perform acts of kindness. For loved ones, for strangers. When you are grateful for a loved ones efforts, show them kindness in return. Do a kind favor for them, and you will create such positivity. Congratulate your loved ones when they accomplish something. Make them feel good about themselves, and you will feel good too. Smile at a stranger on the street, compliment them, leave a big tip at a restaurant, etc. There are so many options, so many acts of kindness to feel good about! People say there is so much to be sad and angry about, but you can create things to be happy about!
7. Do more of what you love: It doesn't get much simpler than this. Think about what makes you happy. Think about the activities which are engaging to you. Activities that you get so immersed in that you seem to lose track of all time and enter a flow state. Do more of those things! That's it. In order to be happy you need to be doing a lot of what you love.
8. Take care of yourself: Another obvious one, but it is absolutely crucial. Take care of your body mentally and physically. It's the only one you've got. Following the above steps is taking care of your body. Happiness and positivity greatly benefits your mental AND physical health! Nurture your body with lots of good food, fit some fun exercise into your life when you can, love yourself from the inside out, and open yourself up to happiness and positivity. It all starts with you.
9. Unplug: Simple. Don't let your phone replace real human contact. Pay attention to your loved ones. Don't bury your nose in your phone 24/7. Don't let the human touch die. When you put down your phone and actually LOOK AT and SPEAK TO those around you, you'll become more involved, you'll strengthen your relationships, which in turn will make you much happier. Not to mention, social media can really take a toll on your mental wellbeing.
Recommended titles:
Stumbling on Happiness- Daniel Gilbert
The How of Happiness- Sonja Lyubomirsky
Positivity- Barbara L. Frederickson
7. Do more of what you love: It doesn't get much simpler than this. Think about what makes you happy. Think about the activities which are engaging to you. Activities that you get so immersed in that you seem to lose track of all time and enter a flow state. Do more of those things! That's it. In order to be happy you need to be doing a lot of what you love.
8. Take care of yourself: Another obvious one, but it is absolutely crucial. Take care of your body mentally and physically. It's the only one you've got. Following the above steps is taking care of your body. Happiness and positivity greatly benefits your mental AND physical health! Nurture your body with lots of good food, fit some fun exercise into your life when you can, love yourself from the inside out, and open yourself up to happiness and positivity. It all starts with you.
9. Unplug: Simple. Don't let your phone replace real human contact. Pay attention to your loved ones. Don't bury your nose in your phone 24/7. Don't let the human touch die. When you put down your phone and actually LOOK AT and SPEAK TO those around you, you'll become more involved, you'll strengthen your relationships, which in turn will make you much happier. Not to mention, social media can really take a toll on your mental wellbeing.
Recommended titles:
Stumbling on Happiness- Daniel Gilbert
The How of Happiness- Sonja Lyubomirsky
Positivity- Barbara L. Frederickson
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